Why My Kids Will Know Everything About Sex
DISCLAIMER: This post is merely my opinion and does not aim to offend anyone or be an action guide.
My kids will know everything about sex. From me.
How many of you have grown up knowing nothing about sex? Some of us were too ashamed to approach our parents with this sensitive subject. Some of us did not even consider this topic to be important/worthy of discussion, because it was simply not mentioned among our families whatsoever.
And how would you know about something that is not a part of your life? It is not until a certain point… The fact is that this certain point will come sooner or later. And how would you know what decision is right for you when the first time you physically encounter sex is the very first time you have to think about it? For some kids it can happen as early as in kindergarten, for most people, however, it happens in their late teens. Only than it might be too late to explain a growing adult what is sex and how you can go about it. Notice that I use the word can and not should, because it does matter. I am not here to teach you how to live your life, but just to share how I want to live mine. Each person and each family is unique. What works for some, might not work for others. But at least this is how I feel at this point in time.
Parents’ role is to teach their kids about the sex subject and to set an example. Not talking about sex is not a solution, but prohibiting without explanation is a shitty one too. A young girl or boy won’t comprehend the ban. It will only make them more curious and restless. And where do they go to look for answers? The Internet. Oh, the stuff you can find there. One can write a whole paper on how you can’t let your kids learn about sex from the Internet.
Like in any type of relationship open communication is the key to building trust and respect. Take the time talking to a child about what you feel is important for you as a person and as a parent. Faith, traditions, values, personal experiences – all come into play. Explain, give examples, answer questions, but do not shy away from the subject or pretend that it’s never going to be an issue. Make sure to educate your child about contraception, STDs, value of relationships and morality. If you believe that each person has the right to decide for themselves, make sure to let your child know that you are always there for them no matter what. Be the first person they go to when they need advice. Be there for them to help them decide, be there just to talk and share.
It is interesting how some people think that being brought up in a certain culture, with certain traditions and beliefs somehow sets behaviours for life; it somehow prevents stepping away from the path that the parents think is right. Even while the way you were brought up does play a huge role in the formation of your beliefs and behaviours, we cannot forget about external factors. Hormones, friends, social norms, personal experiences and insecurities have an effect often more powerful than the way you were brought up.
Don’t get discouraged by these words, but don’t let these things get the best of the child either. I truly believe that being open with your kids about all things sex will set them to be more comfortable in their own skin in the future. And, most importantly, it will make them more comfortable discussing sex (and other issues) with you as a parent. Ultimately, wouldn’t you want to know?