Learnings from 2016
I can’t believe that it’s that time again: the end of another year, where I look back and share what I’ve learnt with you.
I’ve always said that this or that year had been the most eventful one so far, and this year is no different, yet it is. 2016 has been the most emotionally challenging for me. I’m not afraid to admit it and say it out loud.
-that felt good-
With emotional times come lots of lessons, so let’s jump into the most important ones.
Never assume; it never hurts to ask.
This post is meant to make you think and hopefully reflect on some of your own learnings. I don’t want to make it a lecture, but this next little bit has been important to me this year.
Yes, we are in 2016, but sexism still exists. I won’t even touch on issues that go on externally, I want to talk about your internal sexism, inverted sexism if you wish. I’m sure men do this too, but us girls definitely do and still unfortunately more so – we’re afraid. Afraid of making a mistake, afraid of making a decision, afraid that we’re not good enough, afraid of our emotions, afraid to ask. We continue to rotate in this stupid wheel of assumptions and uncertainties.
Don’t assume. Assumptions lead to overthinking, overthinking — to doubting yourself and your abilities and eventually to a wrong decision.
All I have for you — it never hurts to ask. Ask! Be honest and vulnerable. People respect that and the knowledge you get becomes your ultimate power.
-see your life already becoming easier?-
Time is precious & less is more.
Having started my first full-time job post-grad and spending most of my life there, I really began to prioritize. People, things you do, time overall.
My learning won’t be new to you, but I just really felt it this year. Life naturally gets rid of people and things that are not so important to you, but with the “full-time life” you also make a conscious choice of what are those things and people that you value and give your precious time to.
It’s a work in progress. I’m still adjusting to make time to see the people that matter most and do things that feed my soul, while also trying to not forget about me time! But it feels good and right to cleanse and declutter.
Let your emotions be.
Everyone can go on and on about “what doesn’t kill you, makes you stronger” and “everything for the best”, but nobody really talks about how that thing that “didn’t kill you”, actually almost did. How it doesn’t mean that it’s easy or that it doesn’t break you and leaves you helpless.
That’s when emotions are your only way out, really. And that is more than ok, in fact it is necessary to let all kinds of thoughts flood your head, ridiculous scenarios play out, tears stream down your face – do it!
I disagree with the notion of shutting down; it’s not actually dealing with your emotions and problems, but trying to step over them.
If only it was this easy… You can’t just shut down or forget what happened to you, nor should you force yourself to. It delays the healing process, storing a clump of unshared and unreleased emotions, which is going to burst eventually.
Breakdowns, tears, burning letters, throwing away things, punching walls and sleepless nights are there for a reason — they help your body, mind and soul purge and take control of the next step.
If you want to fly, give up everything that weighs you down…
… And you can only do that, when you let yourself just be.
With all my love. HAPPY HOLIDAYS!
photo by Stephanie C